This is my first post on a new blog. For a little over two years I have been hosting a website www.IHaveMDS.com where I tried to share my experiences. A year, a month, a week and five days after having a stem cell transplant I am trying to get on with my life.
Yesterday I did a load of laundry and was reminded of how long it has been since I had total independence. Of 14 pairs of underwear, I had not purchased a single one. Living weeks and months confined to a hospital room and pajamas I had liitle need for clothes. My mother visited and cared for me during this time. She always brought me things. Magazines, socks and underwear. That's alot of hospital stays. Thats a strange feeling, not being able to purchase your own underwear. Never thought of it til now. With limited resources buying my own boxers falls pretty low on my priority list.
Today I edged the yard, not a major task but I was in the sun and getting some cardio in. Feels good to sweat. The obstacle called sleep continues to emerge. My body is doing it but at the wrong times. I have begun replenishing my tool box. In the opening months of my illness I tried to keep up with my medical bills which quickly dried up what savings I had managed to build. So pawn shops became a major source of income as I saw one tool after the other go into hock until I could go back to work and get it out. I would have never guessed it would have been 25 months and counting until I am gainfully employed again.
Cancer can take many things from you besides your health. Dignity is soon lost as you find that you are now dependent on others for shelter, food, and living expenses. For an independent prideful person that may hurt worse than some chemotherapy treatments. It did & does for me. I work with my hands and find it embarassing when I meet someone new and shake hands. I am complimented on the softness of my palms. These are not mine, the hands I know are calloused, blistered, or cut. They should show signs of labor. The medications I am on state that I should avoid prolonged exposure to the sun. I tried to play a round of golf only to find the sun gave me headaches and nausea. One of the drawback of taking so many pills.
Summer is here and I hope my immune system is soon strong enough that I will no longer need so many medications and that my doctor feels it is safe for me to go back into workforce. I feel so strong at times and act like I did before, only to find that the next few days I will be cramping, sleeping, and fighting nausea.
There is a second chapter to my life that is beginning, consider this the prelogue. My life has been a journey with the most turbulent times being the last few years. I have survived in part by prayers and warm wishes from family, friends and new acquaintenaces. Hopefully that support continues and I can share some good chapters of my life.
I think you can subscribe to this blog and it will be emailed to you when it is updated. I hope you do, because I could not have made it this far without you.