Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Insomnia consumes me

After this much time you would think I could control my own sleep patterns, but I find myself at their mercy. It is 2 am. and I am wide awake. Home alone which is rare, so I do not know what to do. Am thinking of cleaning the freezer or going out to the driveway and wash my truck. TV is boring unless there is a sport on. I have seen todays edition of Sportscenter so I find myself with idle hands and time. I think alot about what might have been, how my life would be changed. April 10, 2008 is a day I will never forget, it is the date I was admitted to Tomball Regional Hospital in Texas.

Being admitted stripped me of many things. Dignity was the biggest. I find myself asking why me. I try to volunteer to help others, I read to escape but I keep coming back to the same place where I want to feel sorry for myself. Like life owes me something. I saw cancer, fought it and am winning, I deserve something. A sticker, I got. Maybe a happy face drawn on my arm.

Do not take your health for granted, and hopefully you are sound asleep as I type this.

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