Tuesday, August 24, 2010

New parts

If this font looks large to you it is because it is. By the time I get back to work this 40 something body is going to have newer parts than my 15 year old pick up truck. I just had a stem cell transplant, thats where they drain all the fluids getting all the old stuff out of your system ie. blood and replacing it with a new better operating system. Now that I think about it chasing 21 year olds aint that bad. Heck, I was born again in March of 2009. Now that the motor starts working looks like the vision might need a new windshield. The crazy part is now I need a new right hip. The steroids that saved my life fighting my last graft versus host disease deteriorated my right hip bone. I need a new one, quick. Checking eBay want it candy apple red, in titanium with a small diamond in the middle. Might as well make it bullet proof and add hydraulics. I definitely want it to turn 360 degrees, that would be so cool.

In all honesty I am scared out of my mind, I have cried, held back tears and bit my tongue til it bled. I do not know what the future holds, that will be discussed the 2nd of next month with an orthopedic surgeon.

I know I feel like I did something really bad before and must continue to fight for my life. Cancer (MDS at that, a rare form), infections, Diabetes, now fluid in my hip. I am a poster child for fund raising. My windows do not go down in my truck and I have no A/C. I should be in the hospital soon for heat stroke if I keep driving it. But I do not think they will change my compressor or thermostat for heat exhaustion.

I am not the first to say it nor will I be the last but "Cancer Sucks". It is not a tragic novel you read only to find the prince to save the fair maiden. It is not a trilogy, but a comprised set of lifes offerings. The cards you are dealt, the only distance is this is for more than money or a bracelet and I can not "FOLD" I have to play what has been dealt. Because every hands a winner, its just a matter of how you play that hand. My cards will be dealt on the 2nd and it may be my "all in moment" but like my baby girl told me on the phone, we have come to far, we beat cancer. My baby is my ROCK. She put me in check and dried my tears. I taught her to play Texas Hold 'em on the beaches of Southwest Florida when I go get these new cards she will be at my side. We play pretty good together, its been a while but it's like riding a bike. A beat-up one.

My cousins have opened their hearts and home to me since before this began. I was hoping to be at work first week of October. I really am turning into Alan from "Two & 1/2 Men"

1 comment:

  1. Hi Roger! I am 24 years old and have Aplastic Anemia. Your blog is so funny and uplifting. I really enjoy the analogies you use in this blog! Your body as a car and life as a card game:) I am glad that you are on the road to recovery and post BMT, but I will continue to keep you in prayer with all of the health issues that come out of being post BMT. Stay strong, and know that you are helping many just by writing this blog. Many do not realize how much cancer/bone marrow failure effects not only your physical body, but also you independence and self esteem. You are welcome to follow my blog if you like. It is a lil bit of everything, and sometimes I write about my health and health awareness. http://simplyshannonsjourney.blogspot.com/
    "Keep on Keeping on"
    "You never know how STRONG you are,
    until being strong is the ONLY choice you have"

    Have a wonderful week and labor day weekend,